my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
