Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When are your genitals available?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
