today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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