I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Holy sore nipples Batman
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