people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
