Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
