NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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