So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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