did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
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