Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
