fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
