do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
