anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
