I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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