We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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