We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
