i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
