my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
