I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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