things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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