he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
