Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize