Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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