thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
