why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize