My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize