just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I touched a dick in church today
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
