i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
