she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
do nipples grow back?
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