Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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