im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
