idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish you could order shots online.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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