just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
