Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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