What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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