I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
