I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
