there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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