U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
