They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
