how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
