i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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