oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
