That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
