Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
