Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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