I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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