she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You were trust falling into bushes
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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