Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
