I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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