her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I have aggressive nipples.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro