Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
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I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
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I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.