I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
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Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution