apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I need a hobby that isn't dick related