Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.

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(909): View more from California

dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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(419): View more from Ohio

so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...

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(847): View more from Illinois

He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.

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