"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
