WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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