I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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