there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
