They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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