allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
