So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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