she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
