i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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