She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize