THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize