i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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