Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
