he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
