Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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