some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
