I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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