Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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